ChibiRoxas
by Zchocolatebunniesrulezworld
Summary: Were there any unwanted effects when Sora used his Anti-Form time and time again? This crack oneshot says, indeed: chibis and insanity ensue. Be warned of excessive amounts of crack and unwanted Doctor Who references.


**I owe credit for this idea to Majora888888, alongside whom I came up with buckets and buckets of Kingdom Hearts crack like the fic you're hopefully about to read :3 No warnings, aside from the complete, utter crack that breeds like rabbits within my brain. Take nothing seriously, or face the wrath of my pet troll.  
Oh, and I don't own the game, and all that jazz. Disclaimers really aren't that necessary...**

**_o~o_  
**

Axel stands silently in The World That Never Was, gazing up at the nearly-completed Kingdom Hearts and trying to pretend that his non-life doesn't completely suck. His best friend hasn't disappeared; what is his brain smoking? Roxas has only left on an...extended mission, that's it! He'll be back any day now, of course he will. And Nobodies? _Ha!_ Axel can feel his heart as clearly as any other Somebody. Those memories of fighting for a cold, manipulative bastard, i.e. Saïx?—also false. He lives a completely average life in a tiny little forgotten world. No Organization XIII for him...

Yeah, it's not really working. He doesn't have the heart for imagination. Roxas is gone; he disappeared into Sora months ago. What makes it worse is that Roxas _wanted_ to leave. Axel couldn't stop him from going, and no matter how hard he tries, Roxas won't return to the Organization.

Axel has been alone before, so why does it hurt so much now? Why does it feel like there is a gaping hole in his chest?

No, his heart isn't aching. That, he knows, is impossible, Axel came to terms with that long ago. However, Roxas filled that empty space where his heart used to be. That's why Axel felt like he _did _have a heart when they were together watching the sunset on the clock tower. But now that Roxas is gone...

Let's leave Axel and his angst behind for a moment. Allow me to seize hold of the narration and take you to a much more interesting scene, because I know you're all sick of Axel pining away (at least, _I _am).

Fly with me to Beast's Castle. Try to ignore the gloomy view, dodge the cobwebs stretching across every surface, and hold your breath—really, a _clock_ and a _candle_ won't do a good job cleaning the place. Why doesn't Beast hire _people_ to clean?

...Ah, I see your point. But equal rights movements for non-humans are sweeping the worlds nowadays. I'm sure he could find _someone_ who isn't terrified of being the main course of the meals they'd help prepare.

In any case, the three people we see in the castle now care nothing for its cleanliness. They are questing to save everything they have ever held dear, in an epic adventure spanning galaxies and tearing apart hearts. They have no time to think of anything when they're fighting hoards of heartless and Dusks, as they currently are.

I can see that you don't know Sora, Donald, and Goofy very well. When _those three_ are thinking less than usual and acting on instinct, well, chaos is sure to ensue.

For instance: Sora is in a tight spot right now. His companions are passed out on the floor and he has no potions to shove down their throats and revive them. Enemies of all sorts are hissing, growling, spitting, and breakdancing as they advance upon him. Panicked, Sora chooses his last resort if he is to survive.

Anti-form.

Oh yes, you heard me right. Sora winces as the now-familiar darkness seeps out of every pore and envelops him in a shroud. His very heart disappears, if only for an instant, as it is tainted with power-releasing darkness. Within milliseconds, a heartless version of Sora is hopping from wall to wall, obliterating everything in its way. He knows how to control this anti-Sora by now, having made the transformation dozens of times already.  
Soon, the battle is won and our three companions journey on to complete their quest, disregarding the fact that the heartless they've just defeated are helping their enemies accomplish their goal...in any case, all are unaware of the complete confusion happening just a universe away...  
When Sora transformed into a heartless, his heart, mind, and body shattered, if only until a magical hug could bring him back again. An afterimage of these shattered pieces reformed for a moment into his Nobody, Roxas, held together by the power of Sora's stubborn will. You all buy this (even though it makes no sense whatsoever), right?  
Well, think about it. Sora transforming into a quasi-heartless so many times must have had some sort of similar effect, right?

Only too right, to Axel's current confusion and dismay.

A quasi-heartless creates a quasi-Nobody.

I see you don't understand the magnitude of this insanity. We shall remedy this at once. Back to the World With A Really Stupid Name we zip, barely surviving amidst the hoards of heartless. Ah, there is our pining redhead, who has crumpled to the ground in a heap of despair. But do you see that?—a very small figure is stumbling forward in an adorable, shambling walk. Its wild hair spazzes with every movement it makes, and its stumbles are increased due to the fact that it is wearing a thick black cloak down to its toes.

As Axel hears movement, he turns. At that exact moment, the moon shakes off her cloak of clouds and throws the area into pale light.

Sadly, the aforementioned moon is the only creature to see Axel's priceless face. His eyes widen to the size of omelets, his jaw drops to the floor, and a few half-attempts at speech try to force their way from his lips. "R—...R-Ro..._what_?"

The small figure, now illuminated by the light of the amused moon, is, in fact, Roxas. Or something. He's about a foot tall, with an oversized head perched precariously on his tiny body. His lips pout adorably, and sparkles adorn his form. Electric-blue eyes, however, dominate this picture. These eyes cannot be perfectly described by any language, no matter how eloquent the speaker. Suffice to say that they are _eyes_. Thirty times larger than the average eye, they take up three-quarters of "Roxas's" face and seem to brim with unshed tears. Each eyelash is sharply defined and several inches long, and they flutter often in multiple blinks.

In short, Roxas is a chibi. And he is looking up at dumbfounded Axel with those _eyes_, and not saying a word. Suddenly, his lips part. He draws in a deep breath...

"Mama!" chibi-Roxas cries, throwing his arms wide and clamping them in a vice-grip around Axel's leg.

I believe something in Axel's brain is short-circuiting just about now. Oh, but he has no time to adjust. Remember, Sora has used anti-form dozens upon dozens of times. Each time he surrendered to the darkness, he created another part-Nobody, all of which are converging upon our poor Flurry of Dancing Flames.

Axel detaches chibi-Roxas from his leg and holds him up at eye-level by the hood of his coat. Chibi-Roxas wails, arms and legs flailing, but Axel is too dumbstruck to put him down. This..._thing_...is a perfect, tiny replica of his friend. What on earth is going on?

"Roxas?" Axel asks tentatively, then feels a tug on the back of his coat. He turns to find _another_ chibi-Roxas glaring up at him, face creased in the most adorable frown Axel has ever seen. This second chibi is kicking and punching the back of Axel's legs with all its might, unleashing an angry battle cry as it attacks. "I—what are you—stop! That tickles!" Axel's plea only serves to enrage the chibi more, and as it continues to attack, another two approach.

One chibi-Roxas is sucking its thumb, wide-eyed and terrified-looking. "Can you help me, mister? I got lost..."

Axel is about ready to melt at its cuteness, but just as he's on the verge of forfeiting all future claims to any possible masculinity by crying, "aww~" he feels a sharp jab in his neck.

"Ow! What the hell?"

The second of the two latest chibis has somehow climbed up to Axel's shoulder and sunk its teeth deep below his skin. Axel is distracted, however, by the first of these devil-Roxases, who is now sucking contentedly on Axel's fingers, lips curved in a ridiculous (but very cute) shape that resembles a sideways number 3.

As Axel prepares to put his foot down and get some answers as to what the hell is going on, he turns slightly to his left.

"Oh, no..." The barely-audible whisper emerges from his dry throat, trembling in fear. What has Axel seen, you may ask?

A hoard of chibis, only a dozen feet away, crawling, tripping, jogging, and flying forward in a mob, leaving devastation in their wake. Axel screams and tries to run, but trips over one of the chibis already with him and sprawls down to his doom on the ground. In no time at all, they have arrived.

One chibi has grown a pair of majestic wings and is soaring above everyone's heads, pelting them all with jellybeans. Another has on a gas mask and is poking its companions, asking them in a pseudo-British accent, "Are you my mummy?" One has a perverted smirk on its face and is taking advantage of the others' innocence in ways that I cannot recount on this page, for fear of lawsuits if I break your tiny minds. Another chibi is holding a bloody knife and muttering, "Redrum...redrum...". Drawing chibis, dancing chibis, ghost-chibis, chibis singing Jesse McCartney songs, chibis in ballerina tutus, chibis playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, sword-fighting chibis, texting chibis ("OMG riku1! ull nvr guess wher i am rite nw lolmao"), chibis running on all fours and licking their neighbors...all of these stampede over our poor Axel and unleash a giant glomp attack upon him, yelling things like "Mummy!", "Bitch! Where's my money?", "Hey BFFL! How 'ya been?", "Would you like to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance?", "Sora says hi!", and "I just lost The Game!".

Axel is ready to die of a combination of despair, hysterical laughter, and blood loss (two more vampire-chibis are sucking blood from various parts of his body now). However, suddenly a wonderful miracle takes place right in front of his eyes. A shimmering light descends upon the congregation of chibis, enveloping each one in its effervescent glow. The chibis gain angelic expressions of peace and hold out their arms to this light. Each rises a foot off the ground (or Axel's body; whatever they were originally standing on) and starts to shiver; then, they all rush toward a central chibi and collide in a giant fire-ball directly over Axel's head. An explosion of light shines across the area, and Axel ducks in fear. Is this the end?

No. When he opens his eyes, before him stands the Roxas he has been dreaming of for so long. Oh, this is wonderful.

Well, almost. Roxas is now two hundred feet tall.

"HI, AXEL," he booms, his voice shattering glass in the nearby windows. Axel passes out at once. If it is possible for a being made entirely of darkness to get brain damage, then he definitely has.

Roxas' attention span short-circuits and he decides to go look for some sea-salt ice cream. _MAYBE I CAN BRING SOME BACK TO AXEL,_ he thinks; even his thoughts loud enough to boom through his mind.

As he makes his way to where he thinks Twilight Town is located (he seems to have forgotten that it is on an entirely different world...) Roxas trips over an inconvenient building and is sent sprawling right into the Castle That Never Was.

Now, Xaldin is away terrorizing Beast currently, but Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Saix, Demyx, and Luxord are happily enjoying their day off by lounging around the castle in the nude and doing each other's hair. None of them suspect a thing as a shadow seems to be cast over the building and a _woosh_ is heard...

Needless to say, Sora's job has now become much easier.

"_OOPS_," Mega-Roxas rumbles, then passes out, dreaming of square-dancing with Kairi and hitting on Sora in a random high school setting...


End file.
